The title is always the worst part of writing.

When was the last time you did something for the first time?

This is a post I actually started writing days ago but haven’t gotten around to finishing my thoughts, and I think that’s the worst part of this whole process for me. I read a career book that analysed my personality, and it mentioned that I’m the type of person who tends to dream up a million ideas and never follow through with them. That was the most accurate thing about myself I’ve ever read… But on the bright side, it said that  most people who are heads of companies are like that and that all the other people are there to help them get through the logistics of making those ideas and dreams happen. But I guess I’m at that point in my life where I’m the one who has to do both jobs.

Today was my first time having a personal training session. You know what I did? I got the trainer talking and I started distracting him from paying attention to my workout because I was that nervous about underperforming. So instead of getting the complete workout that I think I would have gotten, I manipulated this man into getting lost in the conversation so that I could hide my embarrassment. (Spell-check corrected that word 1 million times before I got it right.)

I can’t do that anymore.

Next week I have to really focus on not getting so embarrassed about the fact that I need help with this and I’m seeking that help properly. Fit people have personal trainers too, man. One thing I will say is that I feel really comfortable going to that gym. Despite the fact that there are masses of fit (and hot) men working out on the weights, the cardio section is quite tame and not intimidating. The class selection is marvelous, and the trainer I got is quite good at making me feel like I’m a client and not a sex object, which is what I was worried about when I found out I got assigned a male trainer. I feel motivated when I go in there because the amenities are so nice, and there are loads of people all the time so I feel like I’ve entered this cool world where everyone is trying to attain a fitness goal. Something I will also mention that’s very honest: I love seeing overweight to severely overweight people at the gym as well. Not only am I proud of them for having the balls to come in and work at it, but I also experience a much more comforting atmosphere because I don’t feel like I’m an outsider anymore trying to wiggle my way through the barrier between fit gym-goers and the people who have to try fucking hard like I do.

All in all, the gym is great. The direction that this post was originally supposed to go was more of a pensive post with hints of my deep, deep, deep craving to travel again.

That is all! Cheers.


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